Pain during sex can bring both worry and shame. You want closeness, but your body tenses, and pleasure turns into discomfort. Many women experience this during menopause — yet few talk about it.

As estrogen declines, the vaginal tissues become thinner and drier. Blood flow decreases, and the skin loses elasticity, making friction painful. The nerves also become more sensitive, and fear of pain can make muscles tighten even more. It’s a cycle — but one that can be broken.

There is help. Lubricants can relieve dryness in the moment, and local estrogen can restore tissue health over time. Gentle touch, longer arousal, and a sense of safety are just as important. Pain isn’t something to endure — it’s your body asking for care.

Alma’s advice:

• Stop if it hurts — pain is never something to push through.

• Try a silicone-based lubricant if dryness is severe.

• Talk to your healthcare provider — local treatment often helps quickly.

You’re not broken. Your body isn’t rejecting pleasure — it’s asking for gentleness.