After birth, most attention is naturally directed toward you, but your partner also goes through a major emotional shift. It can be surprising to notice how strongly your partner reacts — perhaps with worry, withdrawal, irritability, hypervigilance, or emotional fatigue. When you are recovering physically and emotionally, these reactions can feel confusing or unexpected.

Partners often begin processing the birth only afterward. They may have felt powerless, scared for your or the baby’s wellbeing, or overwhelmed by what happened in the room. Combined with sleep deprivation and new responsibilities at home, this can create stress that shows up in different ways: pulling away, trying to control everything, or seeming unusually passive.

From your perspective, this can be frustrating, especially when you need more support than you receive. It doesn’t mean the relationship is weak or that your partner doesn’t care. It simply means that both of you are adjusting — but in different emotional timelines.

Signs that your partner is struggling may include avoiding conversations about the birth, excessive worry, irritability, low mood, or difficulties relaxing. You are not responsible for your partner’s mental health, but you are entitled to support, clarity, and shared responsibility at home.

If your partner’s emotional state affects daily life or your relationship, seeking support together can be helpful.

Alma’s tips

• Share your needs clearly — this prevents misunderstandings.

• Ask your partner about their experience of the birth when the time feels right.

• Create small, quiet moments to talk without interruptions.

• Encourage your partner to seek help if worry or sadness persists.