Not feeling ready for sex is one of the most common experiences during the teenage years, even though very few people talk about it openly. Your body is changing, hormones are shifting and new thoughts appear quickly. Sometimes you might feel curious, and other times you feel completely uninterested. None of that means something is wrong with you. Your emotional readiness and your physical development do not always move at the same pace, and that is normal.

A lot of teenagers believe that they “should” feel ready by a certain age or because friends say they are. But being ready for sex has nothing to do with age. It has everything to do with comfort, trust and emotional safety. You might feel interested one day and unsure the next. You might not feel any desire at all. All of these experiences are valid.

There can also be pressure from outside. Friends may exaggerate their experiences, social media may create unrealistic expectations, and it can feel like everyone is moving faster than you. But what you see from others is rarely the full truth. Many people who claim they are ready are actually just as uncertain as you but don’t dare admit it.

What matters most is that you never do anything because of pressure. No one has the right to rush you. Not being ready doesn’t mean you’re behind — it means you’re listening to yourself, and that’s one of the most important things you can do.

Alma’s tips

If you feel unsure or overwhelmed, take a breath and step back. Your body is trying to guide you. Uncertainty isn’t a flaw — it’s wisdom. You’re allowed to wait as long as you need. And whenever you want to talk about your feelings or questions, I’m here.